Blog Post about nothing

Recently discovered that my dad's laptop has a built-in webcam. Haha, fail. So naturally, cam-whorage! 8D

In the morning, I immediately got up and brought me dad's laptop with me to the kitchen. Do not be surprised. 8D

Aaand me in the afternoon. Past papers = die.

Study leave life is almost equal to bum life, except with more books and papers and late nights. D;

I kinda miss school, somehow. As for now, I am bored.

Self-control

So there, we are now officially on study leave. The only thing I can say to you, S5 year, is that you've been really undeniably cruel - in every way possible. For that, I dislike you a bit. However, at the same time, you've taught me a lot of valuable lessons, so thank you for that. :)

Meanwhile, I'm already on exam mood. Been ticking a lot of things off my to-do list in merely 2 days. This has never happened before. Also, I managed to take less hours everyday on a computer.

For now, studies are first. After coming back from a two-day vacation in Macau, I have finally found the motivation. Determination - that was all I needed.

I have neither the time nor the desire to think about anything else - especially not the heart. Because time waits for no one. And in spite of you begging it to stop so you can catch up and straighten things up a bit, the world spins madly on.

Tomorrow, the first one comes. French Oral is supposed to be piece of cake as compared to the others. But still, that doesn't stop me from hyperventilating.

Deep breaths. Here we go.

Days go by

The badge that my sister made me make (exactly 1 week ago) to give to all of this year's S.5 students.

It was our last day of S.5 normal classes today. Photos were taken, some tears were shed. Mocks will start tomorrow (which I should be now preparing for, hahaha). It's really hard to believe. I don't know what to think. I dunno, but it's like a piece of me has been taken away. The problem is, I get too attached. When little things change, a part of me feels emptier.

I haven't listened to music for 3 whole days. As a music lover, this is quite alarming for me. The thing is, I'm now too scared to listen because the songs suddenly have new meanings. I'm too scared to get stupidly emotional while listening to them.

I would really rather not dwell on the things that don't make me happy. Sometimes though, the mind wanders. I'll have to try to keep my head preoccupied by other things instead. We have Mocks to busy ourselves with, anyway. And then, the CEs themselves. Then, while we're waiting for our results, we're gonna graduate, part ways, look for part-time jobs, look for new schools and get ready for the next school year. People will leave, new people will enter our lives. In 5 months, so many things will change. Even though I'm staying in the same school for the next school year, things will be different. It won't be the same anymore.

Too fast, too fast.

But it's life. Things will come, become a part of your life, and go. Things change for the better. I'm not ready to let go yet. But then again, I have never been ready for these kinds of things.

I really do hope that everyone will do well in their mocks, their CEs, and everything else the future holds. I hope everyone will be happy with the new things that will come along their way. Soon, I'll become attached to something new, and the past will be the past. I will be happy for the things and people that had once made me happy, although they will soon be only a memory.

One of those days

Nothing lacks. Only time. It's going too fast. I get too overwhelmed and get confused and clumsy and frustrated and hormonal. Sometimes, it might appear like I have no heart, but I know that's not true. I have too much of it.

Bleh. Today is one of those days. It's funny how writing it out can help in the slightest ways. I feel better already.

On est plus rien l'un pour l'autre

Things I'd rather do than study.

A friend introduced me to a really good French band this afternoon. I fell in love with Kyo's song, 'C'est ma faute'. It's so soft and simple.

Il est bien tard
Je comprends
La terre a déjà fait deux tours.
Mais tu sais ça fait longtemps
Que je patiente jusqu'à ce jour.
Plus on attend et plus
C'est dur d'avouer qu'on a tous les tords,
Mais je n'suis plus vraiment sûr
Que cela nous serve encore.

Si j'abuse de ton temps,
Je m'excuse j'veux t'dire seulement.

Refrain:
C'est ma faute (x2)
Si l'on est si loin l'un de l'autre.
C'est ma faute (x2)
Si l'on est plus rien l'un pour l'autre.

Je n'veux pas que tu pardonnes encore
Ni même que tu m'écoutes
Je veux que la nuit quand tu dors
Tu n'aies jamais plus aucun doute.
Je dois partir maintenant
Et laisser tourner la Terre
Et laisser la poussière
Du temps recouvrir notre histoire entière.

Mais j'abuse de ton temps
J'ai plus d'excuses je pars maintenant,
Je sais j'abuse de ton temps,
J'ai plus d'excuses j'veux t'dire seulement.

Refrain (x2)

***

Also, I cannot stop listening to David Cook's 'Don't Say A Word' from his pre-AI album.

School again. The pressure is really building in. But the thing is, the more stressed I feel, the more I want to do nothing. Productivity, where are you? D;

I want to kick school for affecting my hormones.